frustrated: defined as feeling or expressing distress and annoyance, especially because of inability to change or accomplish something (per google)
frustrated: WTF (per me)
all this working out and what do I have to show for it? 6.8# newly planted somewhere between my toes and my eyeballs. WTF? how did that happen? and no, am not Regina George, this is not "mean girl" and i am not eating carbo bars in hopes that the weight would just "disappear" a la cady. come on. wtf. i'm so annoyed. but, moving on.
yesterday i went to body pump. i do love that class. was surprised how few calories i burn, considering how incredibly sore that class makes me. around 470, but the cal from fat burn was up at 38%. still not sure what that means but that's like double what it is when i run on the treadmill. any science majors out there wanna clue a sister in? also the teacher of this class is smokin'. and i'm not a lady lover. but she's like totally cut and so smiley and positive, i love going to her classes. (sarah r. for those of you who go to lvac/lpac) however, the fact that they had it so hot in the room that she referred to it as bikram body pump, while hilarious, was also annoying. i mean good god it was HOT in there. le peef.
saturday brian did the laundry so you know whatthat means?! favorite outfit as an option! but, i didn't wear my favorite outfit. and brian doesn't usually do laundry. yesterday was like the twilight zone i suppose. but i did wear my lulu groove pants. and my dive cozumel t-shirt. asics and green/white dance headband. i was feeling those 6.8# and didn't really give a crap what my outfit looked like.
shockingly, no one annoyed me in the class. i mean that's shocking since it was hot and full and i was feeling huge. i felt a good burn. i still have some residual shoulder issues from my competitive swimming days and my joints bother me when i do the chest stuff, but every muscle in my body is sore-triceps, quads, hammies, chest, shoulders, biceps...at least that's good!
and finally, i'm going to go back on the my fitness pal app, and i'm changing back to my old pills. ryan and heather both suggest i just go off entirely, as a baby bump is sure to grow slower than the rate at which my bum is expanding. let's see what happens if i obsessively count calories AND workout everyday, that will be magical. perhaps.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
an exception to every rule
last night i saw the hunger games at 12:01. i got home at 3am. i woke up at 8:30am. i worked for 10 hours. i came home at 8:15. i cooked my husband dinner. i went to the gym. at 9pm. on a friday. alert the mofo media hos, times they are a changing.
but, i decided that there need to be a few exceptions to this sweat everyday situ that i started. so i have begun with two exceptions. lord knows by june i'll have approximately 17 more. but for now they are as follows: if i am sick. like really sick. not like a headache sick but sick like i was a few weeks ago when my fever was topping out at 102, i was hacking up a lung, and i broke into a sweat just getting out of bed to use the bathroom. so there's that. also, i'm not forcing myself to work out if i work a 12 hour day. i don't sit at a desk all day, if i work 12 hours there's a 90% chance that i've been running around 6 of them and am exhausted. so, it may be that day, may be the day after, but if i work 12+ hours i get a day off. fair enough me thinks.
SO i get tomorrow off. WHOOOP WHOOOP. oh wait i have to work an estimated SEVENTEEN HOURS tomorrow. ballsack. i'd DEF rather go to the gym for an hour and get the other 9 hours back...
but back to today. i made it! whoop!
day 4 outfit: another pair of gap yoga pants. i really hate these. i'm ordering at least one, maybe two, more pair of groove pants very soon. besides the crap pants i rocked my matt wertz old school tennis shoes t-shirt that brian hates. i don't generally wear this shirt to the gym because it's a light heathered grey so duh even the tiniest drop of sweat shows up but by the time i got to the gym i didn't give even 1/4 of a shit what anyone thought of me. green and white dance headband, asics. i could do without this combo for a little while.
day 4 results: well i had exactly one hour to work out, warm down, and stretch. so i got in a solid 45 minute cardio workout with a caloric burn of 520 and cals from fat up to 22%. my limited research has informed me that if the calories are not being burned from fat they are likely coming from muscle or carbs. well lord knows i have plenty of carbs to give up so burn away, carbs. muscle...i'd like to hang onto that but i know i can build it back if i lose some by working at a higher heart rate for longer. i forgot my max and avg. heart rate and i'm too tired at this point to go dig out my monitor and share the number since i'm fairly certain no one really reads what i have to say.
day 4 special result: my vo2max is up 6 points. i am very close to the "above average" category which god knows i love to be above average, so i'm working hard to keep workin' my heart and training my aerobic system to get it together and bring that number way way up.
day 4 special notes: i literally almost threw someone off an elliptical tonight. she was going so damn slow which just annoys me. she was playing with her hair the entire time. i mean seriously if you have enough coordination left in you to fiddle with your frizzy hair, you aren't moving fast enough. she took my favorite elliptical which is just unacceptable if you're not going to really work it. that machine is lovingly referred to as joe, and joe needs you to WORK HIM OUT. so for god's sake work him woman. she also talked/texted/played on her phone the entire time. and then she read the newspaper. i mean she really almost actually got tossed off the 4th floor balcony. i tried not to let her bug me but i was tired, irritated, and sweaty...WOAH bad combo for this bitch.
i'm off like a prom dress to paint my nails. i got some gorgeous multi-color glitter top coat from ulta and i cannot wait to try this shit out and see how gorgeous it is. i hope the day never comes when i think "i'm too old for this polish" that would be a total bitch.
NIGHT! (don't be sad when i don't update tomorrow, no gym means no blog)
but, i decided that there need to be a few exceptions to this sweat everyday situ that i started. so i have begun with two exceptions. lord knows by june i'll have approximately 17 more. but for now they are as follows: if i am sick. like really sick. not like a headache sick but sick like i was a few weeks ago when my fever was topping out at 102, i was hacking up a lung, and i broke into a sweat just getting out of bed to use the bathroom. so there's that. also, i'm not forcing myself to work out if i work a 12 hour day. i don't sit at a desk all day, if i work 12 hours there's a 90% chance that i've been running around 6 of them and am exhausted. so, it may be that day, may be the day after, but if i work 12+ hours i get a day off. fair enough me thinks.
SO i get tomorrow off. WHOOOP WHOOOP. oh wait i have to work an estimated SEVENTEEN HOURS tomorrow. ballsack. i'd DEF rather go to the gym for an hour and get the other 9 hours back...
but back to today. i made it! whoop!
day 4 outfit: another pair of gap yoga pants. i really hate these. i'm ordering at least one, maybe two, more pair of groove pants very soon. besides the crap pants i rocked my matt wertz old school tennis shoes t-shirt that brian hates. i don't generally wear this shirt to the gym because it's a light heathered grey so duh even the tiniest drop of sweat shows up but by the time i got to the gym i didn't give even 1/4 of a shit what anyone thought of me. green and white dance headband, asics. i could do without this combo for a little while.
day 4 results: well i had exactly one hour to work out, warm down, and stretch. so i got in a solid 45 minute cardio workout with a caloric burn of 520 and cals from fat up to 22%. my limited research has informed me that if the calories are not being burned from fat they are likely coming from muscle or carbs. well lord knows i have plenty of carbs to give up so burn away, carbs. muscle...i'd like to hang onto that but i know i can build it back if i lose some by working at a higher heart rate for longer. i forgot my max and avg. heart rate and i'm too tired at this point to go dig out my monitor and share the number since i'm fairly certain no one really reads what i have to say.
day 4 special result: my vo2max is up 6 points. i am very close to the "above average" category which god knows i love to be above average, so i'm working hard to keep workin' my heart and training my aerobic system to get it together and bring that number way way up.
day 4 special notes: i literally almost threw someone off an elliptical tonight. she was going so damn slow which just annoys me. she was playing with her hair the entire time. i mean seriously if you have enough coordination left in you to fiddle with your frizzy hair, you aren't moving fast enough. she took my favorite elliptical which is just unacceptable if you're not going to really work it. that machine is lovingly referred to as joe, and joe needs you to WORK HIM OUT. so for god's sake work him woman. she also talked/texted/played on her phone the entire time. and then she read the newspaper. i mean she really almost actually got tossed off the 4th floor balcony. i tried not to let her bug me but i was tired, irritated, and sweaty...WOAH bad combo for this bitch.
i'm off like a prom dress to paint my nails. i got some gorgeous multi-color glitter top coat from ulta and i cannot wait to try this shit out and see how gorgeous it is. i hope the day never comes when i think "i'm too old for this polish" that would be a total bitch.
NIGHT! (don't be sad when i don't update tomorrow, no gym means no blog)
Thursday, March 22, 2012
day tres
well hell. why in the world did i decide to do this again? i should have DEF promised myself a different manicure everyday for a year or something, not this fresh hell. woof. sadly no great sightings at the gym today besides distendy. know what? i really have an issue with the fact that she does the following: clearly starves herself, does not brush her hair (as is evidenced by her dread-locks (white girl spelling)), puts her stack of yoga magazines on the machine next to her (RUDEST!) and doesn't wear a shirt. she wears a sports bra, whatever, that is NOT an acceptable top. boys don't walk around without a top on, so neither should she. i have a feeling i'll have to document her on here at some point, because you probably don't believe me.
also, i have remembered something (someone...) that annoys me. you know that girl who works that damn elliptical so hard that it comes up off the ground? i mean srsly bitch? if you need to go that hard and at that high an incline let me introduce you to my friend the treadmill. he's quite an amazing toy if you get to know him, and offers a great variety of incline/speed options that will surely induce the leg burn you need, and make far less noise, thereby irritating those around you much less in turn. not even mandy moore singing about candy at the top of her lungs could drown out the sound of you brutalizing the poor machine.
moving on...
day 3 outfit: gap yoga pants. black delta gamma anchorsplash 2005 t-shirt. black and pink lululemon dance headband (yep 2x this week, don't worry i know i'm totally disgusting) and my gray and pink asics. another favorite (well i don't lurf the gap pants but i can't afford to clad myself in $120 groove pants everyday so until i win the lottery, i have to make do on slightly less than the best every now and then) so expect to read about it again. the only issue i have with it is when i do laundry and i see the tagline on the back "everything's hotter under the water" and then i get the song 'under the sea' from the little mermaid in my head and it makes me seriously insane.under da seeeeeeeea, under da seeeeea....see, now you know how it feels
day 3 results: 48 minutes, 500 calories. max heart rate 168, average 157. 18% from fat. also, when i click through my results on my wrist monitor it says to me, "goal: work out much more this week." um, let the record show, your honor, that i did not program it to say as such. it made that shit up completely on it's own. how rude.
day 3 food: bish please it's hunger games night. i'm going to probably skip this portion of the blogging until i have some really delicious meals i've cooked up to share with the masses. i did however have a delicious taste of a hoosier mama pie today and it damn near made me slip right out my seat it was so good. highly suggest.
and finally, for a laugh
and now, MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR, BITCHES!
also, i have remembered something (someone...) that annoys me. you know that girl who works that damn elliptical so hard that it comes up off the ground? i mean srsly bitch? if you need to go that hard and at that high an incline let me introduce you to my friend the treadmill. he's quite an amazing toy if you get to know him, and offers a great variety of incline/speed options that will surely induce the leg burn you need, and make far less noise, thereby irritating those around you much less in turn. not even mandy moore singing about candy at the top of her lungs could drown out the sound of you brutalizing the poor machine.
moving on...
day 3 outfit: gap yoga pants. black delta gamma anchorsplash 2005 t-shirt. black and pink lululemon dance headband (yep 2x this week, don't worry i know i'm totally disgusting) and my gray and pink asics. another favorite (well i don't lurf the gap pants but i can't afford to clad myself in $120 groove pants everyday so until i win the lottery, i have to make do on slightly less than the best every now and then) so expect to read about it again. the only issue i have with it is when i do laundry and i see the tagline on the back "everything's hotter under the water" and then i get the song 'under the sea' from the little mermaid in my head and it makes me seriously insane.under da seeeeeeeea, under da seeeeea....see, now you know how it feels
day 3 results: 48 minutes, 500 calories. max heart rate 168, average 157. 18% from fat. also, when i click through my results on my wrist monitor it says to me, "goal: work out much more this week." um, let the record show, your honor, that i did not program it to say as such. it made that shit up completely on it's own. how rude.
day 3 food: bish please it's hunger games night. i'm going to probably skip this portion of the blogging until i have some really delicious meals i've cooked up to share with the masses. i did however have a delicious taste of a hoosier mama pie today and it damn near made me slip right out my seat it was so good. highly suggest.
and finally, for a laugh
 |
| thanks heather, via |
and now, MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR, BITCHES!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
day 2
woke up at 5:15am. hit the snooze button for 2 hours. told myself i'd go to the gym after work. 7:20am rolls around and i have an honest conversation with myself and realize there was no way in hell i'd be at the gym after work, so off i was (after a 15 minute GIF party with ryan of course) and had a pretty great workout...
outfit, day 2: lululemon groove pants, green chicago four leaf clover shirt, lululemon dance headband (pale pink and white) and grey and bright pink asics. not my finest moment but i figured it would be late enough in the day no one who cared would be there. let it be know i was flat ass wrong. there were so many people there. does anyone work? i know i have a weird schedule but damn...that girl who looks like a starving child {you know, skinny all around but with a distended belly....not that i judge, seriously i wouldn't give her a second thought if she wasn't so cunty in the locker room} who gets there before me and leaves after? yep she was still there when i left at 8:15! she works out for AT LEAST three hours. weirdo.
results, day 2: 47 minutes on the elliptical. 533 calories burned. 178 maximum heart rate, 156 average. 19% cals of fat. sweet. and i was one hot sweaty mess when i finished.
food, day 2: i've damn near decided i'm going to either exercise 365 or diet 365. and frankly i like the following too much to quit them: carbs, ice cream, booze, cheese. so, exercise 365 it is. smart eating choices, sure. vegetables for everyone! but i'm going to cool it on the my fitness pal app for a while and see if my obsessive calorie counting is actually a hindrance to health success.
now if you'll excuse me, i must return to dance moms. these hos are in chicago this week. i gotta go spy out some landmarks and do lots of judging. onward and upward bitches!
outfit, day 2: lululemon groove pants, green chicago four leaf clover shirt, lululemon dance headband (pale pink and white) and grey and bright pink asics. not my finest moment but i figured it would be late enough in the day no one who cared would be there. let it be know i was flat ass wrong. there were so many people there. does anyone work? i know i have a weird schedule but damn...that girl who looks like a starving child {you know, skinny all around but with a distended belly....not that i judge, seriously i wouldn't give her a second thought if she wasn't so cunty in the locker room} who gets there before me and leaves after? yep she was still there when i left at 8:15! she works out for AT LEAST three hours. weirdo.
results, day 2: 47 minutes on the elliptical. 533 calories burned. 178 maximum heart rate, 156 average. 19% cals of fat. sweet. and i was one hot sweaty mess when i finished.
food, day 2: i've damn near decided i'm going to either exercise 365 or diet 365. and frankly i like the following too much to quit them: carbs, ice cream, booze, cheese. so, exercise 365 it is. smart eating choices, sure. vegetables for everyone! but i'm going to cool it on the my fitness pal app for a while and see if my obsessive calorie counting is actually a hindrance to health success.
now if you'll excuse me, i must return to dance moms. these hos are in chicago this week. i gotta go spy out some landmarks and do lots of judging. onward and upward bitches!
holding myself accountable
first entry. written in a hurry. probably no pulitzers here, people. people. haha what a laugh. only if we consider talking to myself in the third person to be a proper conversation.
so, day 1. march 20, 2012. the day i turned 28. i've had a very hot/cold love affair with my gorgeous, fancy gym. sometimes we are hot and heavy, sometimes we are lovers passing in the night {err...early morning} only on occasion. so let's change that. i'm making a commitment to my gym. for one year i will be intimate with my gym every single day {hope the hubs doesn't get jealous...} and maybe if i blog about it i will enjoy it. hopefully this is not compounding an activity that i have grown to somewhat loathe {sweating} by adding another activity {blogging} that i in theory like but in practice always fail to complete!
day 1 outfit: lululemon groove pants. hot pink JMU t-shirt. hot pink and black lululemon dance headband. gray and hot pink asics. this is hands down my favorite gym outfit, so expect it to be repeated every week. more so if i do extra laundry.
day 1 results: well don't go crazy, i am NOT posting my weight on here. have you lost your mind? i'm talking activity results. i got on that elliptical and i was not getting off until i was good and ready. 71 minutes. 694 calories burned. 21% calories from fat {my fancy purple heart rate monitor tells me this, perhaps i should research because i haven't a clue what that means} average heart rate: 154, maximum 170. as i told ryan, the best part of turning one year older is that my max target heart rate comes down a full beat per minute. bring on the birthdays people!
day 1 eating: oh CTFO like i'm keeping track on my BIRTHDAY. but, i had coffee, a celebratory birthday donut, some delicious chicken from the neighborhood canteen, and then for dinner we went buck wild. lobster wellington, tuna tartare, roast duck, more lobster, and some delicious concoctions for dessert, one with caramel as the star, the other with coconut. oh yes and a glass of champagne, a cosmo, and a glass of a delicious pinot from sonoma. MISSION: ACCOMPLISHED BITCHES
now onto day 2...
so, day 1. march 20, 2012. the day i turned 28. i've had a very hot/cold love affair with my gorgeous, fancy gym. sometimes we are hot and heavy, sometimes we are lovers passing in the night {err...early morning} only on occasion. so let's change that. i'm making a commitment to my gym. for one year i will be intimate with my gym every single day {hope the hubs doesn't get jealous...} and maybe if i blog about it i will enjoy it. hopefully this is not compounding an activity that i have grown to somewhat loathe {sweating} by adding another activity {blogging} that i in theory like but in practice always fail to complete!
day 1 outfit: lululemon groove pants. hot pink JMU t-shirt. hot pink and black lululemon dance headband. gray and hot pink asics. this is hands down my favorite gym outfit, so expect it to be repeated every week. more so if i do extra laundry.
day 1 results: well don't go crazy, i am NOT posting my weight on here. have you lost your mind? i'm talking activity results. i got on that elliptical and i was not getting off until i was good and ready. 71 minutes. 694 calories burned. 21% calories from fat {my fancy purple heart rate monitor tells me this, perhaps i should research because i haven't a clue what that means} average heart rate: 154, maximum 170. as i told ryan, the best part of turning one year older is that my max target heart rate comes down a full beat per minute. bring on the birthdays people!
day 1 eating: oh CTFO like i'm keeping track on my BIRTHDAY. but, i had coffee, a celebratory birthday donut, some delicious chicken from the neighborhood canteen, and then for dinner we went buck wild. lobster wellington, tuna tartare, roast duck, more lobster, and some delicious concoctions for dessert, one with caramel as the star, the other with coconut. oh yes and a glass of champagne, a cosmo, and a glass of a delicious pinot from sonoma. MISSION: ACCOMPLISHED BITCHES
now onto day 2...
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